Blog Upgrade Update (and More)

Due to the long process and work moving, I decided to wait until I move to upgrade my blog. After the move, I will resume with the art projects on DeviantArt and other sites. I am now just writing down notes for later.

Recently, I am getting back into learning Japanese. My schedule has been too busy to squeeze in language learning and working on projects. I was even forced to take a break keeping up with my living doll appearance. Mostly, I am writing a lot of ideas down for my living doll career, books and the new business. I continue to view Gyaru tutorials. I have planned enough, now all I need is my makeup, clothing and accessories. As soon as I move, I will be in the process of my transformation to become an official living doll. The transformation process mainly involves makeup, eyelashes, doll like clothing, circle lenses, dieting and plastic surgery.  

The Tikaani Moon blog will have to be planned out a little more for a cohesive design. This blog will be the English version for my living doll lifestyle. So, somehow, I will combine the two designs. I felt it was better to continue writing in English, since I have been doing so all this time. Soon, I will have a Japanese, Korean and Chinese blog. This is when my transformation is complete.

For other projects, I have been doing a lot of reading and studying. My first novel series will be rewritten as soon as I finish unpacking. The series requires that I learn French. For the business, I learned quite a bit about owning a business. Now, I am currently just writing down a plan to begin.

So, currently I am still in the process of moving and planning my projects. I hope to upgrade my blog soon. 

Escalating Hate in America

Recently, the harassment and hate is escalating ten times worst than ever, than I had ever seen in my life. I wasn't going to post regarding this topic anymore, but it's so bad my family are prisoners in our home. We cannot go outside without increased harassment and confrontation with an extremist. Now, they are beginning to become more violent and hostile. No matter how we try to avoid this, it's impossible. It's like now just sitting in our vehicle is illegal, we can't go into the stores or even stand in our own yard. I mean, this is an everyday, all day agenda which I wish would end. I will list all of the incidents that my family has experienced to let everyone see how things has changed during and after the election.

I read on many sources that the Neo Nazis are badly targeting Indian people. With my mother's and sister's appearance giving it away, they have targeted us as well. I'm targeted because also of my foreign appearance. Now that my hair is currently black (not dyed), I have an even more Turkic and Asian look. I have this issue now where people thinks I'm 100% Asian. My eyes tend to slightly slant like Asian eyes. My family all looks foreign born, which made us doomed to be targeted. I have mentioned the bigotry in Columbia Heights Minnesota before. However, it has gotten worse since Trump became president. I can't completely understand this bigotry when this is a fairly diverse community now. Yes, it wasn't diverse when my family first moved into the town, but now it is. Yet fascism grows stronger here than ever. I thought since people of my kind lives in the community as well now, that I was okay, but how wrong was I. Since the new president, there are many from the older generation who feels empowered and feel as if they can get their town back from people like us. Although the racism is from the older generation, meaning older (maybe in their 60's and up), I see racism among younger people. They are around the ages maybe of college student ages, even teenagers and even children. I will share this because things have gotten really bad, it has been taken far back to the 1960's, and my family's encounters are frequent and becoming dangerous. I fear it could easily escalate even to violence, leading to someone dead. The Neo Nazis said they wished to start a race war, and here it is.

For the weekend, Saturday and Sunday, the KKK had a massive rally celebrating their leader. I lived close to where the rally was, in Saint Paul, Minneapolis, Saint Cloud and Sauk Rapids. I noticed most Whites were either not in town or wreaking havoc. This is when I learned of their rally. I also learned this KKK rally happened all across the country. My family had gotten a warning to stay away from the cities above, and to stay inside our homes for our own safety. This I thought was going back so far. There were many reports of non-Whites being randomly attacked and even killed. Since we are surrounded by racist neighbors, my family stayed inside for the weekend. We couldn't even be in our yard, knowing our neighbors were celebrating as well and armed. Yes, my family is also armed, but all we want is peace and we rather stay out of this race war.

I noticed news channels are being blocked and censored. I also noticed how many movies they show related to slavery, racism, fascism and honoring patriotism. Recently my family gave in and watched Glory, Freedom, Imitation of Life, Hate Thy Neighbor and a few others. I even watched a few movies about Hispanics. It made us realize how far did America go back.  

Here is the list of incidents:

Neighborhood Harassment: First I would like to share how our neighbors band together to harass us, and to let us know we are not welcomed here. We are trying to sell our house, but the neighbors are making things difficult. I don't understand why because, don't they want us to leave? The neighbors next door are the epitome of old fashioned racism. These are the ones who has been on the town's committee, and who has lived in the neighborhood since 1952. They are an elderly couple who is also a good example of Minnesota Nice. They are the ones who would smile in your face, and sabotage you behind your back. I say sabotage, because that's all they have been trying to do. These neighbors deserves a paragraph alone, so I will only tell about the other neighbors. When we just sit in our vehicle to wait until a showing is over, they all come outside and behave like they are suspicious and have to watch us. The neighbors gather around from different houses and stare hatefully at us and talk among themselves. They even bring their large dogs outside I think to intimidate us. The neighbors even release their dogs off their leashes so they can walk freely around us. The neighbors shout at us, asking what are we doing sitting in our vehicle. They act like we are doing something illegal. They even show us that they are carrying weapons and threaten to kill us. Recently, they also had no parking signs by the police in front of their house. My family called the police to tell them they are harassing us, and we are only trying to sell our house. This was the only police officer who was on our side. Recently the police signs were removed from the yards.

Elderly Neighbors: With the next door neighbors on the committee of the town, this makes things worse. They try to band together with others to drive us out of the town. Many times they would turn on racist shows, radio talks and music so we can listen. I would look at them as they laughed and smiled over the racist stereotyping in the programs they showed us. They expected us to laugh at those comments. It's not funny to see and hear someone tell us how uncivilized non-Whites are, and how we should behave. We should be respectful and behave more like White people. The comments were offensive and unfair. They gave us old left over food, expecting us to be grateful for it. Never would they buy and make something fresh and new for us. Whenever we have showings, they would prevent non-Whites from buying the house. They would even demand that we repair things on their house and work for them, like modern day slavery. I found it offensive when one said they have nothing against "our kind". Also, when they would always comment on how they hope to never get as dark as Indian people from India. However, I think the worse was when they were angry my family didn't fix their garage roof. They drew a Swastika symbol on the door of their garage. This was a threat. After this, the couple both give us hateful looks. Everyday now, they mention how many guns they have and how the man is a World War 2 veteran. He knows how to shoot someone, threatening to shoot us. It's unnerving.

Driving: Just driving around and sitting around in our vehicle, and even parking has turned confrontational and dangerous. People for no reason swear at us, flick us off, roll their eyes, stare at us and call us racist names. They call us Sand N-, plain N-, and other offensive names. The worse encounter was when my mother had to pull out her gun on a man who was yelling at the top of his lungs at us. We were only parked in front of the store, which is now forbidden to do. He was swearing and telling us to park somewhere else. He made a scene, everyone turned around and looked at us yell back at each other. We had been arguing for awhile, but the last straw was when he called us whores. When my mother stepped out of the vehicle to confront him, he challenged her, asking was she going to fight him. He tried to intimidate us like he wanted to beat us up. My mother then told him she has a gun and was pulling it out, when he was raising his hand to hit her. It wasn't like my mother couldn't have fought him though. The man then said we are suppose to make America great again (he backed off, intimidated by the gun). This was when we found out he was a Trump supporter. People ran away and took cover, thinking it would be a shoot out. The store manager pleaded fearfully for my mother to not start shooting. He had a phone in his hand to call the police. We saw how everyone was visibly afraid, and so we decided not to. The manager told the man to leave. That is an example of how things are getting serious. I mean, we will stay out of this, but that doesn't mean we will let bigots treat us any kind of way or kill us.

People chase and follow us, and write down our license plate. The worse I've encountered was when my family was parked at our favourite Turkish restaurant. There were two women wearing hoods over their heads, the KKK hoods. They drove through the parking lot and wrote down our license plate and was watching us. They then drove off. We learned the two women were staying around close by though. We try not to be seen at Halal restaurants, but we cannot eat from the other restaurants. They spit in our food, throw things in our face, give us old food, yell at us and refuse to serve us. That is why we can only order from our own kind. The most offensive incident was when a construction worker, yes a construction worker was rude to us. He didn't want us sitting in our vehicle in his presence. My mother asked did he have a problem sitting on our own block. He behaved like he couldn't stand the sight of us, he didn't want to be near us; as if we are like disgusting, unclean or we are lepers. I even saw a woman with two girls walking passed our vehicle. One girl spit on the vehicle and did a Nazi salute at us. The mother didn't correct her, but smiled and encouraged this behavior. The most shocking incident was when my family saw our neighbors wearing full KKK robes in the street. It was board daylight, and they didn't care who saw. My family watched as they stepped into their white trucks and drive away. No matter how many times I see that, it always shocks me to see people wearing KKK robes in public. This is every single time we are in our vehicle.

Stores or Other Public Facilities: My family cannot go to stores or anywhere without facing extreme racism. People roll their eyes, stare at us, speak rudely to us, don't want to touch anything we have touched, don't want to touch us and they even tell their children don't touch something because we touched it. Personally at times, it can be hurtful to be in public and see someone refusing to touch something you have touched or refusing to take something out of your hand. At some facilities they don't allow us to enter. Like recently, I really don't like going into the local Petco because the manager and everyone are very racist. The manager always talked to us like we were children. It was obvious he did not like us. The most offensive time was when he reluctantly returned an item for us. Walking away, I heard him say in a low key how we always come to America and think we can take it over, and run everything. He was sick of us being in the country. We ignored his comments. One time I remember, just recently though, when the workers saw us walking into the store, they turned off the lights like they weren't open. My step-grandma who mostly walks into the stores for us, went inside and they told her they don't open until 3:00 p.m. However, we saw them opening the door only for Whites.

Police: Last I wanted to mention the police. I am not anti-police, but I'm disappointed how the police changed so much after Trump became president. They were okay at first, but they suddenly changed. The police now rolls their eyes at us, talk rudely and engages in racial profiling. Almost all the time, the police forces us to prove we paid for items in the store when they don't require this from White customers. They even look all through the bags, our purses, pockets and examine the receipt. We are always followed around in stores by guards. Apparently, we are banned from being on the park or any public premises. Every time my family are sitting in our vehicle, they always treat us like we're trying to cause others harm. How cold, detached and biased the police have gotten, my family avoids them. We just stay out of their way, not wanting them to shoot us. The most annoying problem is when the police always suspects we're trying to steal or we already stole something. I read how the extremists are becoming police officers which would explain everything. However, they make all of the police look bad.   

This is an example of the things we go through as minorities. We cannot speak in different languages, wear ethnic clothing, in the hospitals and clinics they refuse to treat us, we cannot wear anything that can be mistaken as a hijab. I like to get in touch with my own culture and wear Indian clothes, but I cannot wear it in public. Also the most annoying harassment is from the false assumption that all Arabs are Muslim. What people don't understand is that there are many Arabs who are Christians as well. I dislike this race war that has started. I appreciate and respect everyone from all cultures, religions and backgrounds. I actually like getting to know different cultures. I also like meeting people from different countries.

Last, I have to mention the Native Americans who are invisible to America. It's a beautiful culture and I have been witnessing when Native Americans are getting beaten by Neo-Nazis only because they are Native American. Also, their history, heritage or culture is not being respected at all. The treaties about the land is also not being honored. Please preserve their culture.            

 

Biggest Inspirations

It would seem most writers have at least someone who they've admired and who has inspired them for their career. Although the only support I received was from my mother and sister, there are a few I have admired. Mostly I took inspiration from music and different songs. Some songs can seem like the lyrics were written for you. At the end of this I will share the artists and songs who have inspired me. Now I would like to mention the individuals who have gained my admiration.

Since I am a writer I will first share other writers who I admire. My favourite writer is Sir Author Conan Doyle, the author of Sherlock Holmes. Unfortunately, there are not many modern day authors I really admire or modern books I enjoy reading. The classic authors like Charles Dickens and Jack London are the authors I admire for their writing styles and stories. It amazes me how they were capable of writing works that have outlasted their time, despite of their age.

I don't admire many actors or actresses, but there is one who has always inspired me. I'm sure Robert Downey Jr. won't wish to remember his past, but it's his beginning and present success that inspired me. Yes, he made a lot of mistakes in his past which led him to trouble. Many doubted the future of his acting career due to these mistakes. However, it inspired me how Robert Downey Jr. was capable of pulling himself out of the rocky start and become a successful actor. I am just drawn to those who are labeled as underdogs and who the world underestimates. If someone like Robert Downey Jr. or anyone else can become something, I feel as if me, someone who has the world against me can prove everyone wrong and actually become a success myself. This is another reason I loved the Shounen Anime like Pokemon, Naruto and others. I also admire the young people who make something of themselves. Me being young, people always are disdainful and tries to convince me someone my age cannot write over 40 books and start as many projects I have started. I have had old men harass me online telling me how there's no way I can write over 40 books, 100 manga and get published by my age. Before I even start, they are already counting me out and saying I cannot become a successful writer. As a lone wolf, I need not the acceptance or approval of anyone else. My family supports me and that is all I need. Also, the people who proves the negatives wrong that underdogs can become great. We are not delusional, but ambitious.

I also have a favourite film director/producer which has to be Tim Burton. His style is whimsical, original, quirky, weird, but yet brilliant and captivating. I love the uniqueness of Tim Burton's movies, which is why I admire him. Because of Tim Burton, it makes me feel like my weird and my different style can also be accepted. I always strive to be different, interesting and original. I won't publish anything until I have created a perfect masterpiece. This is why I've worked so hard for years on all of my works. Even my living doll career he has inspired me for. I wear clothing that people perceives as taboo and not normal for them. I find it nice to be different. I love wearing Victorian, Lolita, whimsical and vintage clothing. This is why I also admire Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, who always wears whimsical clothing. Most of society believes becoming a real life doll is too strange, but these are the people who inspires me to believe it's fine to be quirky. Actually, it is possible to make anything out of a career, even as something as whimsical as being a living doll.

Okay, lastly I will share which music artists and songs that inspires me. Music is an essential part of my writing and living doll career. I will share the full playlist for each of my projects soon, but now I will only share the most inspiring artists. They are Paramore, Red, Breaking Benjamin, and a few others. The songs are:

  • Back for More - Five Finger Death Punch
  • I Will Not Bow - Breaking Benjamin 
  • My Turn - Hoobastank
  • High Heels - Brave Girls 
  • Now or Never - Digital Summer
  • The Pride - Five Finger Death Punch 
  • Aggression - Palisades 
  • Stronger - Through Fire 
Later I may add to this, but these are just my inspirations. 

New Accessories for Decora Fashion from Japan

My new anti-dusk masks arrived from Japan. It is common to use these masks for fashion, which is what I plan to use my new masks for. Th...